Tue 8/12/08 3:39 pm EDT – Cincinnati, OH Airport

Tue 8/12/08 3:39 pm EDT – Cincinnati, OH Airport
Currently Listening to: “Tears” by Rush

As I wait to board my final plane to Appleton, a few thoughts are running through my head. This feeling of independence is great. There are few times like I felt I was truly on my own. Before YouthWorks, the job excursion down to West Lafayette was one of them. Obviously, all of the YouthWorks summer also felt this way. It will be good to go home, but it is hard going back in a way. I don’t feel at all smothered by my parents or my independence is gone, but it is harder to know that there is a world without having things done for me. I don’t know. This summer was great, and I can’t wait to move out and move on to the next exciting stage of my life. I look forward to going out to the Twin Cities to check on apartments and the like August 21-22 with my best friend, Dan. It will be hard to leave the Fox Valley, but I may come back some day. Until then, I look forward to what God is doing in my life right now and the upcoming future. Another thing that ties into that last thought is that I am also afraid to leave everyone and everything I know behind for a big city where I know maybe 25 people (and some of them I don’t know well enough to just walk into their apt yet!) Oh well, God leads us in directions where we are busy looking at the map saying to ourselves: “Where am I going?” It’s funny, because this summer that is what I was saying for the first half of the summer. I was upset I was working for Kodak in a mind-numbingly boring job that was going nowhere. But because of those 6 or so months working for them, it helped land me the job at the Service Center! If it weren’t for that experience, maybe I would be crawling back to some other job when I got back…

Lesson learned: Trust in God and the way He has things unfold in our lives. Plus, those lame jobs (my night janitor job at Appleton Medical Center, being a server at TGI Friday’s, the customer service rep at Kodak, and countless experiences) bring about great stories to tell others and lessons learned. Some people have terrible hardships in their lives, and I believe part of the reason they go through those awful things is because they can share their stories and get lessons for their lives. I’ve seen great change in students week-to-week because of stories and lessons the Lakota people have shared, my stories, and the stories of the staff.

What does your story teach others? What lessons have you learned that you can share firsthand because you’ve experienced them?

I will always have that map wondering where I am going. Sometimes we think the advice of some other people or ourselves will get us to where we need to go. Truly, God gives direction and your plans are way different than what God has planned for us. It is hard to rely on God in these times, because we love to plan what are lives will become. I feel like I want to wrestle control from God, but when I do, I never know where I am headed! When I hand that control back to God (most of the time reluctantly, but sometimes with great joy), things come together even if I don’t understand why they happen in certain ways. Like why this past year have I become fueled with passion for fighting for justice and for people who can’t fight themselves. Why have I started longing for great community and rejecting parts of Americanized Christianity? Has it been the books I’ve been reading? The places I’ve gone? The horrendous things I’ve seen poverty and injustice do on the reservation? One thing for certain is never doubt God’s presence within the problems of our lives. He is there waiting for us to recognize Him in the face of others, and in their situations.

This is a Franciscan blessing that I read to church groups on Thursday morning before their last day of ministry on the reservation. Here it is in its entirety:

May God bless us with discomfort at easy answers,

half truths, and superficial relationships,

so that we may live deep within our hearts.

May God bless us with anger at injustice,

oppression, and exploitation of people

so that we may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain,

rejection, starvation and war,

so that we may reach out your hand to comfort them

and to turn their pain into joy.

May God bless us with enough foolishness

to believe that we can make a difference in this world,

so that we can do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.

Finished while Listening to: “When I See You Smile” by Whitesnake

Tue 8/12/08 7:38 am – Denver International Airport, CO

Tue 8/12/08 7:38 am – Denver International Airport, CO
Currently Listening to: “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince

Well, I’m finally done. Sitting in an airport brings back great memories from flying out here. Those were the days. Read the first posts to hear about those times. For the first time, I’ve been to an airport with free wireless internet. It’s great! Anyways, last night was Exit RAMP (a giant celebration and debriefing session). Yesterday, we made our final check ins and put our sites to an official close. Since my AD, Faith, now works for the FBI, she couldn’t make it since there is training in VA. Nate, our Regional Director, took over for our sites. We had a great lunch, a debrief session with our last time spent with our team, and a giant “faithfulness feast.” It included a salad, pita bread, hummus, chicken with feta cheese and tomatoes, asparagus, and sparkling lemonade. We had frozen yogurt with berries and chocolate for dessert while watching a picture slideshow of our Western Region sites. We later had a giant worship set complete with stories of how God has moved through our sites and us as people. Then around 11 pm, they posted airport runs and what time we had to leave. Guy took the 4 am shuttle, while I had to leave at 5:15 am. I also got to drive “Hank” (our YW truck from PR1 aka “Dancing with Paintbrushes”) to vehicle storage that early. Ugh. But now I am here, through security and ready for Cincy and finally… home.

Finished while Listening to: “Optimistic” by Radiohead

Mon 8/11/08 11:26 am – Lookout Mountain Community Church, Golden, CO

Mon 8/11/08 11:26 am – Lookout Mountain Community Church, Golden, CO
Currently Listening to: “I Don’t Want to Be” by Gavin DeGraw

It’s over in Pine Ridge. The summer is coming to an end, and that means my time on the res, and with these folks, is almost over. In our last week, we had cultural overload for those 19 people from family week. Monday night we had buffalo burgers sandwiched between small pieces of frybread. Tuesday night we had Indian tacos, and the cookout on Wednesday. It was great food. Plus, because of the small group, they got extra special attention from all the staff, and our contacts throughout the community. The group was solid, but I still could not wait to get back home. It’s not because I dislike where I was, but I am excited to get to my new job and place in MN (wherever that may be). When saying goodbye to everyone, it was hard, but necessary. Everyone we needed to say it to was there: our community members, my evening contacts, and importantly, the great kids from Manderson and Pine Ridge. Sunday night, after coming back from Pine Ridge and eating at Texas Roadhouse with our area, we stayed at a hotel. Worst. Sleep. Ever. It was terrible. I hope I can get more elsewhere…

Finished while Listening to: “Starship Trooper” by Yes

Sun 8/3/08 10:51 pm – PR

Sun 8/3/08 10:51 pm – PR
Currently Listening to: “The Lord of the Dance: Riverdance”

For the first time this year, I can’t think very well. There has been so much going on this week that I am trying to find words to write. I only have less than 10 days left on the res, and we’ll see what happens. This past week was great. The groups were great, but the whole week was exhausting for me, emotionally and spiritually. There was a giant powwow this weekend, and we enjoyed plenty of it. We went Thursday with students, and they invited us to dance. The wasichu (white people) aren’t very good dancers, though. We had a blast and it got better by being in the parade with Hands of Faith. We helped decorate the float Friday night and Saturday morning. We threw candy to what seemed like thousands of kids… That night, we went back and watched the dancers from the grand entry on. Ate an Indian taco, bought a t-shirt, you know, the works. Saw tons of people we knew from the communities we’ve served in: basically a great week. Now we only have 19 people here for our last week, a family week. One last week. Hope all goes well!

Currently Listening to: Silence… Sounds great for once!

Fri 7/25/08 8:25 pm – PR

Fri 7/25/08 8:25 pm – PR
Currently Listening to: “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly

Two weeks of groups have come and gone since my last post. Last week was great as we had two giant Catholic groups who were very hard workers. They complained quite a bit and were veterans to Pine Ridge, but again, were great when it came to doing the work at the Work Project sites or Kid’s Club. Something of significance is that the two groups had Mass together, while Father Jim presided, during Church Group Time on Wednesday night. It was great to see these groups come together with their similarities, since we often have diverse groups from different denominations every week.
Last weekend we “went Rapid!” The kids here are all excited to go to Rapid City, because to them, it is the cultural center of their world. Now, Rapid City isn’t that big, but has quite a bit if you’ve ever been to a reservation, which has hardly anything. My only plan was to see The Dark Knight. That’s all I wanted to do. But our weekend started with us leaving from our site, meeting the other sites in Rapid, Jimmy John’s, Crazy Horse, a glimpse of Mt. Rushmore, Sonic for drinks, then off to bed. Saturday was glorious as TDK (The Dark Knight) was going to happen. I got a “little” frustrated (little is an understatement, as I almost completely blew up when one of the drivers drove us to the wrong theater. Man, I need anger management when it comes to miscommunication errors and frustrations surrounding TDK and other things I want to do…), but we eventually made it, even though the previews started. What a glorious film! If I could only own 10 movies, it would make the list. After TDK, Sonic was visited again (this time for lunch), then I hit up a music store and Alternative Fuel (a coffee shop) with Alissa and Y-Vo (from PR2). Most of the crew went over to Hills Alive! (a free Christian music festival in Rapid featuring Superchick and Toby Mac that night), and I stayed for a few songs of Superchick’s. But I was itching to sit in a dark theater once more, so I headed to Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Worth viewing for the visuals and humor alone, it was great – but not as good as TDK of course. I contemplated staying for Hancock (3 superhero movies in one day???), but didn’t… We came back to PR1 to get some sleep and the next group came in fast…
This week also went by fast – but I was emotionally exhausted. Not enough mental rest on the weekend in Rapid. No time to mentally check out. Curveballs were thrown left and right this week. Evening activities being switched around, loose end to tie up, and other stuff all made appearances. Guy and I ate at Bette’s Kitchen, and it was glorious! It was literally eating in a ladies’ house and having her nieces serve us. Anytime you’re near Manderson, hit up Bette’s! A great group this week as they showed us staff they were processing all that is hitting them – plus they loved my stories… Back to resting – peace!

Finished while in Higher Grounds Coffeehouse with a song by Reba McEntire??

The Beard...

I have decided not to shave since I left Denver for Pine Ridge. Here is a brief look at the beard's progress:

Photo 1: At the airport in Appleton, WI. Bright-eyed and having no idea shaving would not happen. Notice the trimmed sideburns and goatee. A must for a guy looking to work with youth.

Photo 2: Two weeks after the first picture was taken. Noticeable beardage has taken place. Not quite full, but getting there.

Photo 3: Five weeks have passed since the first. While I may look upset, the beard is smiling for me.

Photo 4: Taken today, 50 days into no shaving... Beautiful.

So I am torn between trimming, shaving, or waiting until I get back to Denver. 50 days looks a bit bushy, but we'll see. What do you think? Leave me your comments...

Sat 7/12/08 12:42 pm – PR

Currently Listening to: “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton

Well in the last week, I got hired full-time by YouthWorks! for a real position in their Minneapolis HQ. I will be moving out there soon after I get home and start September 2nd, right after Labor Day. The job consists of answering calls and getting churches to jump on board with YouthWorks! for the summer. This week also went real well, and this weekend we will be sure to rest up for another jam-packed week. On Thursday during our community cookout, the White River Creek Singers came out and led us in social dances. It was a total blast! Anyways, time to rest…

Finished while Listening to: “I Don’t Want to Lose You” by REO Speedwagon

Sat 7/5/08 7:40 pm – Martin, SD

Currently Watching: The Office – “The Convict #3.9”

Since the Rapid City entry, we’ve all been really busy. Had 3 entirely different weeks. Here’s a breakdown of what happened.

Week 1: This was our first week all alone and we had 4 churches come and enjoy our site. There were a few kinks with that week. I think what happened is that we were focused on our job and not enough on the people. There were some great groups (4 churches in all), but we were inwardly focused on getting the job done. Our attitudes and dynamics with each other not the greatest they could be. On Tuesday, we had a tornado warning while driving to one of our evening activities, a hike. Ugh… it wasn’t very fun. Nothing happened, but we were on the road and had to turn around and get into the basements. When the time for evaluations came around from the adults and students, we were devastated. The leaders pointed out a lot that we didn’t notice, but I am glad that happened. We really sat down and hashed out what we need to do as a team, and act on them. That weekend, Alissa and I went to a pow-wow in Kyle. Although we took a roundabout way to get there, it was cool to be at one where we saw active competition. And then…

Week 2: A complete turnaround! 4 churches came again, but this time after our re-tooling, it totally rocked. There was a couple there: Joe and Maria from St. Maria Garetti’s in WI. They were the best encouragers I’ve ever met and had glowing reviews for me as Program staff and a leader. All throughout the week, hardly any trouble happened with the exception of us leaving the site for staff time at night and there was another tornado hitting Shannon County. When we were at Big Bat’s, I met my Vietnam vet friend, Dave Little. He was cool to talk to about different things, but our time was cut short by that tornado. Either way, we got back to the site, but again, nothing happened. Later that night, around 1:30 am, Alissa came into our roon to tell us Gennie was shaking and her legs hurt badly. We went into diagnose, but our limited first aid training ranged in diagnoses from diabetes, lyme disease, shock, and a fever. The next day, Guy took her to the Martin clinic where our AD, Faith, was staying. That morning, I had to become the Work Projects guy. I also had to meet our tour guide for Wounded Knee, Emerson Elk, at his house. His sister, Gerilyn, and him make beautiful beadwork and other art. While talking to him, he lit sage and sweetgrass to purify the air and lighten the mood. It was a great time to meet and hang out with community members. That week in our adult leader evals, we got the comment that we were the “most professional YouthWorks staff” they ever had. Talk about a turnaround! After they left, our coach for family mission trips, Mayme from the YouthWorks! office, came out. We had a good weekend, which led to…

Week 3: Family Mission Trip week. We had 36 people who ranged in age from 8 to 60’s. It was fun to bring families on board, because it was a really laid back week and Mayme was there to help. This week, I was tossing around the idea of applying for a full-time position at YouthWorks! Mayme was telling about an exciting position, the Marketing Service Center Associate. It’s a little like my job at Kodak but 8 million times better. I made and sent out a resume and cover letter on Saturday, received an email on Tuesday, a phone call on Thursday for an interview on Friday the 4th. It went great BTW. Since FMT was a day shorter, we got extra time to hang out and chill. Mayme headed out on Thursday and we did our shopping at Wal-Mart that day. Faith showed up to hang out and we headed out on Friday to Martin for a 4th of July weekend celebration. We swung on swings in the park, hung out on the roof of the school, watched the fireworks up there, learned how to “Get Silly” and “Soldier Boy,” had a bonfire at a lake, and pretty much rested up as much as possible before heading out on Sunday.

Finished While Watching: The Office – “Traveling Salesmen #3.12”

Sat 6/14/08 11:11 pm – PR

Currently Listening to: “Ramblin’ Man” by The Allman Brothers Band

Well, had the day “off.” Not really. Woke up a bit late, then met the Martin staff and we departed for Sam’s Club in Rapid City hours away. It took over 2 hours to get there because we had two cars (one of them being Sandra), a van, and our truck (Hank). We spent like 2 or 3 hours in Sam’s getting supplies and extra dry goods for the summer. It was fun, but I really wanted the day off. After Sam’s we met the Rapid City and PR2 staff at RC’s housing site. We went to Dinosaur Park (which overlooked all of Rapid City) and got some Taco Bell/Subway to bring back and enjoy it together. At the site, there was a birthday cake prepared for Alicia and her big “24.” We left and got back to PR later, and had to unpack all those supplies. Went over some clubs and stuff for next week, but tomorrow is it! This is the real deal!

Finished While Listening to: “You’ll Be Coming Down” by Bruce Springsteen

Sat 6/14/08 12:01 am – PR

Currently Listening to: “3 AM” by Matchbox Twenty

Okay, so Early Bird Week has finally come to a close. Early bird week is when 3 different sites and our Area Director (AD) Faith come to our site and put on a regular week with students and adult leaders: 17 staff and 60 students and adult leaders = craziness. It was great to see how a week works. Here are some highlights and not-so-highlights:
- Bonding with my site staff. I truly appreciate and love the support of Guy, Alissa, and Gennie. We’ve had a lot of fun these past couple weeks.
- Bonding with the area staff. So many friendships have blossomed since we started with the other area staff. There are great guys and girls here!
- The housing site. Curtis and the guys are working great on the site and everything seems to be in working order and I am finally doing laundry since Day One!
- Seeing how a week runs. Even though there were 13 other hands doing staff jobs, it was great to see teamwork and meals, club, and Kids Club run.
- Going to the Oglala Lakota Home Coalition Housing Summit. Katie (Martin’s Program and Early Bird Program) and I went to get people into YouthWorks. We were invited (coerced?) to be a part of the faith-based organizations who help on the Pine Ridge Res. I met with two guys from HUD (in Washington DC) and got to talk with them about YW. They thought immediately we were bigshots who could set up conferences and get things done. Our nametags say “Summer Site Staff,” but they didn’t pick up on that too much. When Guy and Faith arrived, we went around trying to get names and numbers for Work Projects this summer. A lady came up to me with a clipboard and asked to put down my name and organization. I did, and then she told me I would be thanked in name in front of everyone at the Pow-wow that night. Again, who am I? A small fish in this organization. Speaking of which…
- The evening activities. Almost everything went as planned. Monday was the Buffalo “Feed”, but the buffs were shy and didn’t want to be separated from their calves for too long. Hopefully next week they’ll come down. Tuesday was the Oglala Sioux Lakota powwow. It was amazing to see the Native Americans dancing in the arbor and inviting others out during Inter-tribals. I hope we can go to more this summer. On Wednesday our Wounded Knee tour guides all fell through, so I had to study and research both the Wounded Knee Massacre of 1890 and Incident of 1973. It went well, but I made two awkward and borderline jokes/comments during the talk. I said Oklahoma, which was rumored to be in conditions worse than prison, still was like that today, and when I was talking casualties/injuries during the AIM incident, I said the US Marshals was “our side.” I don’t know why I said that, it just came out. Whoops. Lastly, on Thursday, we had a cookout in front of our housing site. Wish I had pics to show, but they will be coming soon (hopefully…)
- This Friday, we finished the week off strong and went to Wal-Mart for our weekly shopping trip totaling $1,100! That’s a lot of food and supplies…
So as I finish up some laundry tonight, we will travel to Rapid City for some Sam’s Club action and Alicia’s B-day party and Area hangout time. Then Sunday, the real test comes!

Finished While Listening to: “Seeing Through You” by Blue Merle